Thursday, November 17, 2011

the broken heart within.

I wrote this tiny essay in my other blog three years ago  as a form of tribute to my dad . I can't believe he's been gone for three years. I still miss him badly.

Mar. 16th, 2008
1:08 AM

My daddy died yesterday, he was 62. He and I got along pretty well, I was always daddy's girl and as a child, would throw the biggest tantrums when he couldn't come home for my birthday even when I knew that his work required that he stay in Southern Philippines. I have always gotten my way as a child, pampered and doted on as the eldest daughter. He was never one to get mad at us, neither did he shout and he rarely punished us for whatever childhood prank we got ourselves into. I can't remember him ever saying no to any of my requests. I remember being a freshman university student and not knowing how to get home after dark. My dad would pick me up from school every time I had to stay late at the university. I also remember one time when he was hospitalized , he was more worried that no one would pick me up more than anything else. As I had posted in one of my infrequent entries, they found a mass in his liver which turned out to be cancer. Things went downhill pretty fast and last night he succumbed to his illness. He passed away peacefully in his sleep surrounded by his daughters. And although in the course of the past week we knew that this day would be coming soon, I didn't think it would be this soon. I feel as though I've been crippled, as though a huge part of me has been lost forever. I have been living with him for the past 15 years, since my sophomore year in college and I dread coming home to an empty apartment, no dad waiting for me to fix him dinner and listen to my various stories. In that 15 years, we have had our share of misunderstandings and spats mostly stemming from what he considers to be my inability to focus. But through everything, he has been my cheerleader, my advisor, I already miss him sorely.

Daddy, thank you for always listening, for always keeping me grounded, and for being an all around wonderful father. I love you. I miss you so much.

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